Syuhada. 20. I know they say you should do things and not see things being done on the telly, but I can't help it. Sherlock, DW, the Tolkien universe are just some of my favourites.

 

just finished watching the confidential episode for journey’s end again and i shed so much tears because the comparison David made about the Doctor having an empty TARDIS just a few hours after it was filled with his family is too much. he lost the love of his life and his best friend in so little time and i just couldn’t handle it, especially about Donna. I can’t. I have to stop seeing myself in her, but I can’t possibly do that overnight. out of the seven series, i know i said Doomsday broke my heart and it was never the same again after that and Ten’s regeneration was painful, but the fate of donna noble, the TRAGEDY of it, it hit me the hardest, simply because i felt that, i AM constantly feeling that; that dissatisfaction with my life, with jobs, with relationships, and i feed myself with superficiality sometimes when in reality what i want is what donna wanted from the doctor, to travel, to open my mind and my heart to all the wonderful things i have yet to discover.

that’s it how do i quit this stupid show

its been months since i felt this - this overwhelming exhaustion, the very thought of interaction tires me. forgive me

grief

another long day. Times like these I wish I had someone to just hold me because i’m so tired of holding up my own fort. 

i want to curl up and claw my own face out but that’s no use is it

Drifting again

Hospitals make me tired. I look at the people around me, my cousins in a constant state of worry, and I remember why I run away from reality whenever I can. I’ve purposefully keep away from hospitals. I’ve only been here for a few hours and it’s overwhelming. The prayers, the clinical smell. Sometimes I forget how inevitable change is, but at the same time I’m aware of its constant. Now all I can do is be present and ponder about the strangeness of faith